Never Did I Ever.

I am a little over a month into my student teaching and I love it… most days. Never did I ever think the words “I enjoy student teaching” would come out of my mouth. I will give some background info in case you are confused about why I am a Music Education major, but was dreading my final semester of student teaching more than anything.

God has placed a definite call on my life to ministry and missions. Yes, that could most definitely be in a classroom, but I feel like my call is to be overseas or in ministry with those in need. Therefore, going into student teaching I had already submitted my application for a program that would take me overseas. A program that would fulfill my calling for two years.. at least. I had no need to student teach because I wouldn’t be teaching. But quickly I realized I was all wrong and God knew what He was up to (duh!).

The night before I began student teaching I was so unhappy, grumpy, and my stomach was in knots. I had just spent the weekend at Passion Conference and I felt so empowered and was ready to go. To go make disciples and make the name of Jesus known, but instead I had to go teach students and spend all day every day in a school. I was not a happy camper.

My first day came and I prayed before I left, “God, show me today what you want to teach me because if You don’t it will be a terrible day.” Well, He didn’t show me anything particular that day, but He did give me peace. From the moment I walked in I had so much peace that I was exactly where the Lord wanted me. I didn’t know why quite yet, but I just knew I was right where He wanted me.

Since my first day there have been wonderful days that I love, but there has also been terrible days that make me want to quit everything all together. But one thing has remained constant.. The Lord. He has continually reminded me and encouraged me more and more each day and taught me more than I could ever imagine.

He has taught me what dependence on Him is. I have been thrown into a world of unbelievers and believers. As a girl who has grown up in Christian circles her entire life, this was new to me. I have never been in a place where I can’t talk about my faith or give guidance through scripture freely. But I am so thankful that I have Christ that lives in me so others can see Him. I have realized He is equipping me daily at school for what He has called me to do. Thrown into a world of unbelievers so Christ can be seen- my calling.

He has also taught me to respect teachers who are believers and pray for them often. I have always known that a school, public or private, is a mission field. I didn’t realize how big of one it was until I began student teaching. To be in a place where students are lost, confused and sometimes even helpless there is no greater gift than to lead them, even without talking about your faith. It’s hard. It is so so hard.. But God. Through His power in His people, it’s possible.

The last thing He has taught me is about community. I am so blessed to have been placed with a teacher who loves Jesus. Daily we are able to talk about what God is doing and has done in our lives. We share stories of His faithfulness. We share prayer request for ourselves, friends and family members. She fully understands the call God has placed on my life and is supporting me 100%. I am also blessed by the women we eat lunch with. All 4 of them are God- fearing women and it is so refreshing to have those 30 minutes during the day to encourage and support one another. And to laugh- because that is important.

If God has you in a season that doesn’t seem like the right one or that there is fear involved, just wait. Wait on Him to teach you. Wait on Him to guide you. He will be faithful to reveal His plan and purpose as long as you take the time to stop and look for it. Allow those days that seem so uncertain to be filled with so much Jesus that He is the only thing that is seen. Never allow fear and doubt to cloud your vision of God’s ultimate plan and purpose. If you do, you’re allowing Satan to win. God always has what’s best for you in mind so trust that fully.

All this to say.. I am thankful. I am thankful God has called me, but I am thankful He has placed me in this season to equip me. Is it hard? So hard I sometimes dread it. Is it worth it? Oh yes.

Jesus is always worth it.

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